❤ The Broken Heart Of EYLA ❤

❤ 2010, new life. ❤

2010-01-04T04:04:00.000-08:00

Omgosh, it's just the freakin first day of school.
Yet, i feel sooooo malas !
From 8am all the way to 5 +.
Did some orientation in the school & stuff.
Met some new gerek N1 friends !
Eena, Nad, Fiqq, Ben & Kyle.
You guys rock lah seyh !
Abt 2++, our OGS, Hisham gave us a break.
So us except Nad went out for a smoke.
=)

Our CA, Miss Lydia said,
we having camp next week, 2 days 1 night at SDC.
Woooo , aircon !
& that our class gg overseas this march.
GEREK PERH !
Overall, freakin' tiring day lah seh.

Ayangbaby fetch me home.
I slept in the mrt uh.
Saket dok kpale .
Tibe2 headache like wht.
Oh, and Ayangbaby daa botak lah seh.
Tkperh, hair will grow .
=)
Well, malas2 pon, want go school, meet ma rockin' new friends lah seh.
Now this is a great start for 2010 !
WOO !

❤ Gosh gosh gosh ! ❤

2009-12-21T05:47:00.000-08:00

I know !
So not me kan ?
Different sia !

That's my so beloved Mak Su !

& me with that duckie lips .

Thanks to ELNAA for uploading these picpic !

This was during Alice's 1st Birthday.

Anyways, as everyone knows, I got promoted to sec 5 or higher nitec.

which I chose higher nitec .

And I so cant wait for the 28th of December.

The results of my course .

We got 10 choices.

Here's mine .

1. Leisure & Travel Operations

2. Hospitality Operations

3. Business Studies ( Administration )

4. Business Studies ( Service Management )

5. Visual Merchandising

6. Banking Services

7. Accounting

8. Business Studies ( Event Management )

9. Integrated Logistics Management

10. Business Studies ( Sports Management )

The first four are all at ITE Clementi.

Second four all at ITE Bishan.

Last two at ITE East.

I wish I get any of the courses at ITE Clementi.

So can go ITE West later .

Woohoo .

Wish best of luck for me please !

Harap2 I get any of the first four choices .

Alhamdullilah AMIN !

❤ OMGOSH ! ❤

2009-12-18T04:23:00.000-08:00

I sooooo cannot believe it !
I've got promoted !
But I'm taking higher nitec though.
I'll be choosing either leisure and travel or hospitality.
OMGOSH !
I am sooooo dreaming !
Seriously dreaming !
OMGOSH !

❤ That's Pure Bullshit ! ❤

2009-12-17T16:26:00.000-08:00

Fuckin bullshit sia.
It's so not making any sense!
Take results also must follow uh ?
Bullshit sia.
Think what?
I small kid isit.
I fuckin pissed off sia.
Seriously, what do they take me for?
I'm not a small kid.
Im already 16 !
Takkan nk amek results pon kene ikot perh ?
Mepek siak.
It's fucking not making any sense !

Well, I'm taking my results today.
Meet gfs too.
But mood totally spoil sia.
Some people really have no brain at all !

❤ Yours truly, Eyla ❤

2009-12-14T05:52:00.000-08:00

There's so much to talk about.
I didn't have any time to update as I gotta catch up so many things in life.
I'll just update how life's going now.

BABYGIRLS.
My babygirls are all so busy with work.
Everything's falling apart.
I miss all those times and memories together.
I hope for the better though.

Mal's all stressed up about this matmotor?
For the first time ever?
I actually laughed about it.
Sorry Mal baby,
it's just surprising!
But hey, forget about the jerk.
Don't rush.
Your prince will come around one day, =)

Ice is in her fantasy world between herself and Farley.
A.K.A Airpork
Well, she dont realize that we're all mad at her.
because she freakin' forget about us.
I just hope one day she'll come to her senses.

& Redha?
She appears, then disappear.
STANDARD !
She's in her fantasy world too, as always.
Well, I really gotta work next year,
to pay her back what I owed.
$ 146 left . GOSH!

Besides all these going around,
I want you girls to know that I am always here.
Even if you forget me.
I'll be here for you girls aite !

Well, we're meeting up this coming Friday,
which is also the release of our N-levels results.
Gonna cherish this moment so much.

FAMFAM.
Me and my family are getting closer than ever.
And since I'm not working nor schooling now,
it made it easier for us to bond closer.
Mom and dad ain't that bad, i guess.
Mom's still a nag though, but pure gerek.
Dad's in his work lately.
Overtime?
Somehow i don't think so.
Oh well, siblings remained the same.
Same old noisy and irritating fellows.
As usual.

AYANGBABY.
Yes, it's been hard for us, I know.
And i know, I've been not understanding enough.
but you didnt make the time for me.
You don't realize how hard it is for me.
It's hard okay baby.
And it hurts especially when you get mad,
and hurl vulgarities at me.
I really hurts alot.
I really love you baby,
with all my heart.
But if you dont change the situation,
I dont think I'm your bride baby.
So please change the situation.

I see your efforts though,
You're going to M'sia for 5 days.
You would have gone for 2 weeks if I didn't freakout.
Well, you wouldn't be there for me when I take my results.
Sad, but its okay.
You made the effort to meet me up tomorrow before going to M'sia.
That's very nice of you.
Thank you baby.
Imma hug you tight.
I'll miss you.

EYLA.
Well, my medication for TB is going to end soon.
YAY ! Yucky meds .
But other sickness are coming up, like heartburn and migrains.
It hurts so much.
I keep getting these when Ayangbaby get me all stressd up.
Dont know why.
Still the same old me, no difference.
Except now, I think I get emotional too fast.
Period i guess.
Oh and I so need that cute small black backpack !
$20 please baby ?
Well, can't wait for this Friday and tomorrow.
Gotta go now.

Yours truly,
EYLA

❤ F**K ! ❤

2009-07-30T00:59:00.000-07:00

Alot of things happened.

Well, let me put it in points.

- Fought with BFFs.
- Got hit by Daddy.
- Terserempak with AMY !! and Shah !
- Fought with ayang, again .
- Fought with Isham.
- 39 days to 'N' levels

Banyak gadoh uh.
Sorry. Can't update much right now.
Busy.
Toodles.

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Goodbye people ! ❤

2009-07-17T02:04:00.000-07:00

Dear people,
I will be very busy nowadays .
N-levels coming .
Sorry for late updates .

Oh, I'm sick .
I have TB .
That's right, Tuberculosis.

Hope you guys understand .
Take care .
Bye .

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Happy Birthday, Ayang ='( ❤

2009-07-11T22:43:00.000-07:00

What a bad gf i am.
not being the first to wish ayang happy brthday.
buat prangai.
who could blame me?
he made me mad.
i told him already, so straight-forward,
tkmo keje jaoh2.
i tk suke.
tetap nak.
and since i cnt be there today,
i wanted to make it up on tues.
since monday im nt gg to sch.
but he mati2 nk g interview keje at the lucky plaza.
wow, and he said im important.
sanggop ketepikan walaupon i tk kasy.
who am i to you anyway ?
My words may be hurtful, but your actions hurt more.
i already told you, nt far away.
you ego sgt, tknk dnga.
and u tried to use your parent's name.

Think for yourself,

make your final decision.

me or the job?

daa kahwin keje jaoh i paham urh.
nih belom, n i tknk u keje jaoh2.
penat sendiri, susah sendiri.
i tk suke, lagypn alek lambt.
so yah, you think for yourself.
im no longer in need to control you.
you daa besar kn, daa der otak sendiri.
='(
i will not control you, if tht's wht you wnt.
im not more important perh kn.
i ckp tknk dngar.
who am i to you anyway.
there's alot of jobs in wdlands.
but you wanted jaoh2, yg i tk suke.
suke hati you lah.
i ckp pon mcm you dnga gitu uh kan ?
so yah, you're own your own.

to people, i will not active these coming weeks.
firstly, exams are in one month and a half time.
barely have time for anything.
and secondly, im suspected of tuberculosis.
tmrw results.
sorry, but i dont want to get cured.
since aku hidop menyusahkn org,
i will not go to the doc, i will not eat my meds.
I'd rather die,
aman dunia ehk,
especially Ayang's.
I'm no more important.

Dearest ayang, happy birthday.

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

2009-07-10T22:32:00.000-07:00

I'm wondering why I even bother layan nih budak.
Whatever it is, it's about the truth.
hah, i cant believe you aniq.
hah, its over lah eh.
aku daa malas siak mcm nih.
you are nothing.
get the fuck off from my life.

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Especially for ANIQ ! ❤

2009-07-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

Sayang's back, and yeah.
Sayang denied evrything, and wants to prove to me.
It's official !
Someone's trying to break us up.
We all know who.

ANIQ !

Whatever it is, he's a despo !
Seriously, is there no other girl?
pompan org pon mau rampas ?
I love my sayang.
And sorry, eventhough he's like this,
I have to accept.
You are no better than him.
Don't try to make yourself look so innocent.
I had always knew it,
One word to describe you :

LIAR !

Yeah, I understand,
if you really love someone,
fight for them.
But sorry,
this is not fighting.
THIS IS RUINING MY 1 YEAR GG 2 YEARS RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SAYANG, ZACK !
Dont you ever use your fcuking brain ?
Seriously, you're making matters worse.
You know I'm alright with Zack,
yeah, maybe a few misunderstandings with him,
But you know I'm happy with him.
YOU KNOW I'M HAPPY WITH HIM !
YOU KNOW I GOT HIGH HOPES WITH HIM !
YOU KNOW I LOVE HIM !
WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO BREAK US UP ?!
ANSWER ME ANIQ !
IF YOU REALLY HAVE THE GUTS,
FACE ME AND ZACK, BRING ALONG SYAM AND MAS,
AND I'D LIKE TO HEAR FROM THEIR MOUTH.
LET'S SEE HOW MUCH OF A COWARD YOU ARE !

ANIQ, look what have you done.
you just made your life more miserable.
No wonder girls could not last long with you.
YOU'RE A LIAR !
That's why !

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Believe ! ❤

2009-07-02T06:55:00.000-07:00

I must think positive.
All of these are just lies.
These are just set-ups,
just to break me and Ayang up.
I agree that we're fading,
but I'm trying to keep it strong.
Ayang, I love you.
But we really have to talk.
Once i hear it from your mouth,
then it's a conferm set-up.
Someone's trying to break us up.
And i think i know who.
Da luh sayang.
As long as I still love you,
and you still love me,
kite tak akan pisah.
Just be strong,
kite pelan2 kayuh okayh sayang?
I believe in us,
I believe in ZaCkyLLa.
I love and miss you baby.
So very much.
Come home asap okeh sayang?

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Please Come Back ❤

2009-07-01T03:05:00.000-07:00

I can't believe this.
Lepas satu2.
Look at my tagboard.
There's this person 'Scandal Z',
look wth he said.
Sadly, Ayg's at M'sia right now.
Please, come back.
I need answers.
Just to stop these tears from flowing.
Please come back.
I'm confused right now.
These rumours all around.
Please, come back.
We need to talk.
And I missed you.
='(

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Bad, bad dream ! ❤

2009-06-30T20:26:00.000-07:00

Some dreams are better off not being true.
I had a bad dream yesterday.
Which resulted me to making up in tears.
My dream goes like this :

I just came bck home.
Mom looks bothered by something.
Then Opah came.
All drowned in tears.
When Mom saw Opah, she cried.
Opah then ask Mom what's wrong.
Then mama cried , and said Dad passed away.
I burst into tears, cried so hard.
Surprisingly, Ayang was there.
And I hugged Ayang so tight and cried.

I woke up to find out i was crying.

Then, Dad was online today.
I talked to Dad, asked how was he.
He said not too bad.
I felt like crying.
Come back please Daddy.
So All of us can be happy.

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Happy Birthday To ME ! ❤

2009-06-27T06:49:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME !
My day turns out so bery the happy ya know !
Got some presents, ENJOY !
Camwhored alot.
ENJOY the pics.
Too tired to post so many.
Update later aights !

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Gadooooh Lagy ? ❤

2009-06-24T22:36:00.001-07:00

Ayang really turned me down yesterday.
Yes, it's really surprising when he came surprisingly.
He played boxing, catching ( mcm bdk2 kan ? ) , and I trimmed his brows.
Then, everything started to turned sour.
He wanted to go fetch Sarah, his babysister, at Admiralty.
Okay i admit I was wrong, I was late.
I'm sorry about that.
But it's partly Sarah's fault too.
She didn't wait nor tried to find Ayg.

Then, Ayg sent me home.
Then I told him to wait because I wanted to go out again to buy food.
Then he threw his cap so suddenly.
I said, lau tk ikhlas nk ikot, g alek je.
He said, asl tady tk g beli?
I raised my voice, tk cukop duit.
Then I just went in the house.
But my selera hilang already.
So i go out, salam him and tell him to go home,
since I don't want to eat already.
Then I just go in the house.
Less that a minute, I went out.
To check if he really went.
And he did.

Then, I called him to tell him that I'm checking the letterbox.
Then I just hung up.
Then he called bck and membebel.
Then I said I just called to say I'm checking the letterbox aje.
Then he said, go ahead uh, I TK KESAH !
Okayh, that's one.
He said me bullshit and stuff, okayh, fine.
Then, after membebel, he hung up.

Then I waited for him to call me.
I didnt went out at all.
I sat in my room, holding bck my tears.
Then suddenly he msged me,
And these were his exact words.

NIE SMUE U NYE PSL.
NOW I NYE LINE DAA KENE TARIK.
N I GADOH NGN AYAH.
NW I DAA TKLE KLUA.
THANKS EHK.
IS THIS MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT?

Yuhp, exact words.
My fault, my fault, everything's my fault.
your bday present?
or is this mine?
yeah, its okay.

Then, we tried to talk things out.
but it turned out worse.
I told him, idc whts his reason, my bdae, he's nt there, we're over.
I mean, seriously, It saddens me.
This is going to be the first time I'll be celebrating my birthday outside.
And you're not there?
How would you expect me to feel ?
And then he said we mmg ader pape, but tkder ikatan.
PEH SEDIH !
And I said, what's up with all those sontot?
He said, he thoguht nie smue stakat keje je?
I gt so sad, heartbroken seyh.
Then his dad gt out already, and he had to put dwn.
Ish, then I got really sad.
And cried and cried and cried.
And I didn't want to talked to him anymore.

I action tido, but I knew he called.
But I didn't want to talk to him.
ME TOO SAD !
But today, he apologised.
And want to take me go movies.
We'll see how it goes.
I'll update later.

Baby Ice pon gt problem.
About her 'boy',
WHAT AN ASSHOLE !
SERIOUSLY?!
Well, we'll wait and see.
I need to go meet up this guy.

I'm still thinking whether to celebrate.
I don't feel like celebrating my brithday.
So devastated.
I'll update later.

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Happy, Happy Today ! ❤

2009-06-23T05:00:00.000-07:00

I got my hair rebonded last Thursday,

with GIRLFRIENDS !

Then, we went to town.

Edited some pictures ( above ).

Today, Opah came.

And treated my whole family to the movies.

i wanted to watch 'Drag me to hell',

but no one wanted to watch with me.

Ayang couldn't follow because Ayah's coming home today from hospital.

But Opah wanted him to follow.

*SMILES*

But last minute, Afiq ( babybrother ) wanted to watch with me.

He's 11 and love violence.

But Opah already bought the tickets.

And we had to watch 'Land of the lost'.

Can say mepek lah the cite.

But what the heck.

Thanks Opah!

I missed Sayang.

Can we go watch 'Drag me to hell' one day?

PLEASE ! ( cute, teary eyes )

Ayang just laughed, and said,

" So no ring for birthday ? "

AWW !

And I said, " Both lah, Ok ? Syg you! "

And he just laughes, and said see how.

Okay !

I love you, baby.

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Disasterous ! ❤

2009-06-20T20:09:00.000-07:00

Everything's ruining.
My stupid hair cannot straight.
Spent 188 bucks for this shit !
Fcuk that rebond hair shop.

Thw weather sucks.
I hope by birthday the weather's okayh.
Please.

Conflict between Ayang and bbygirl, Ice.
Why can't you guys understand each other ?!
It's my fcuking birthday,
and maybe you guys ain't coming,
because you're mad at each other?
What shit is this?!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY !
Might as well I celebrate alone siaa.

Ice, let it go.
Yes, what he said was unacceptable.
But I forgave him.
So, you must let it go girl.
And he refered it to me, not you.
So why take it to heart?
Just let it go please.

Sayang, don't take it to heart lah.
You know how Ice is.
Let it be lah.
Anyway, You should understand why she's like this.
I'm her friend, and she cares.
But please, let it go.

Guys, please make my birthday happen for me.
I don't want any conflicts and stuff.
Please.
You guys should really understand each other.
Seriously.

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Must be happy =) ❤

2009-06-14T04:33:00.000-07:00

I'm smiling.
At last!
Sayang tak uat prangai, I tk uat prangai.
Everything's going on smoothly.
What's coming up tomorrow?
I'm going for rebonding before my birthday.
Will be going with Redha baby.
Since she has the promotion thingy.
Rebonding for $45 bucks, okayh lah.
So yah, look out for mah new hairstyle bebeh!

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Smile baby =) ❤

2009-06-13T04:36:00.000-07:00

Everything went back to normal after yesterday.
I guess.
Yesterday, fought again.
Cry, cry, cry.
Couldn't help myself, went berserk, almost killed myself.
To people who care,
thank God I'm still alive now.

It seems that sayang don not respect me no more.
Gosh, I thought I respected you.
If you say I didn't,
think back.

When we fought,
I told you not to make me maki you.
But you dared me.
But I still didn't maki you,
but I went berserk and slashed.
I rather hurt myself than hurting you.

But you,
when you told me not to make you ungkit,
i purposely dared you to.
I wanted to see if you're really a man.
It turned out, you're not.
You ungkit.
Is that respect?

I hung up because I couldn't take it.
I was actually your fault,
but you blamed my attitude.
And you didn't let me talk.
And kept repeating.
Did you know how hurt I was?

I cried to sleep yesterday.
Yes, I know you called me.
I didn't want to talk to you.
I wanted to die.
You thank God I went weak and cried to sleep.
or maybe fainted.

This morning, I had to cry my heart out,
just to convince you meet me up.
Don't you knnow how much I missed you?
I guess you didn't.

Yes, we met then.
But I couldn't feel you.
I couldn't feel my sayang.
It wasn't you.
I wanted to cry when we hugged.
But I told myself to be strong.

Dear God,
I beg you to answer me.
Til when must I suffer like this?
Til when will he realize himself?
Til when will he respect me once again?
Til when will all these stop?
I beg you to answer me dear God.

Sayang tried to cheer me up.
We came to my house surprisingly.
And I've packed him some leftovers from Athilah's brithday.

Oh, talking about Athilah's birthday,
I bought her a Dora wallet and purse for her.
Went to buy it at Vista, basic point with sayang.
Sayang was kinda pissed when he was late.
I'm sorry.
I just need you sayang.

Back to us again,
When I went out, he presented me with a can of Rootbeer.
I smiled, and my heart felt free.
Sayang was trying to win my heart back.
Maybe he did realised his mistakes and fault.
Of how disrespectful he was.
I'm happy.
I love my Sayang.
But somewhere deep inside,
I still feel like crying.
Crying so hard,
letting my heart out.

I don't know why I feel I lost something.
Or isit I lost someone?
Whom I've longed to love.
just disappeared like that.

I prayed so hard everyday,
dropped tears every night,
just hope for Sayang to be himself once again,
and respect me,
and love me for who I really am.
That way, I'm sure, our future ahead of us will be shining bright.
Here, I pray.
=)

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Important? ❤

2009-06-12T05:56:00.000-07:00

Now, it really shows that I am not important to you.
Thank you for all your false hopes and sweet talks.
You didn't bother calling me back when I hung up.
And my little sister's birthday?
I made the effort to clean, bake, and cook.
Because I thought you were coming.
Otherwise, why would I bother wasting my time?
Can't you at least take a day off?
There's always Zaidi what?
And you telling me you want to lepak with your friends?
Wah, how about me?
Learn to manage your time!
Am I not important to you?

I waited for you at MSL Hill.
Yes, I'm with my friends.
But I waited.
And when I called you,
You hung up on me.

DID YOU KNOW HOW I FELT ?!
Did you?

Thanks for being the worst boyfriend ever.
A jerk who doesn't cares.

Don't bother crying for someone who doesn't care for you anymore, Eyla.
Just go kill yourself.
And rot in hell girl.
No one bothers about you anymore.
Just die bitch.

I have not eaten nor drink for hours.

Let me die.

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Time For A Change ❤

2009-06-11T20:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, thank you.
I've learnt so much.
I'm torn.
But I'm strong.

It's time for a change.
I'll be equal.
I'll be who you guys want me to be.
Even if I have to act.

My goal now?
Enjoy life, Smile !

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ And He Goes Again ! ❤

2009-06-11T03:22:00.000-07:00

Dear people,
Eyla's really sick right now.
A serious case of heartache.
Therefore,
She will change for the best.
She will change to be strong.
She will change to be who she is best.

She love her guy.
But her guy called her a prostitude.
Therefore, it resulted her to a very serious heartache.
And she's depressed right now.
And so hurt that made her so hard to believe in Zackylla.
And she really could not forgive Zack.
As much as she wanted to, she couldn't.
Because it hurts TOO MUCH.
But she still loves him.
TOO MUCH that she could not let go of the heartache.
She says she's sorry.
It's just too much.
And she's very sad.
And hurt.
And it takes time to forgive you.
But she still love him.
With her whole heart.
And hopes Zack says sorry.
And change for her.
Because that's what she wants for her birthday.
OHH !
And a ring too okay?
Thank you.
I love you.

She love her friends.
Eijah and Mal are always there for her.
Thank you little babies.
She love you guys.
But in her relationship, She has to make her own opinion.
And she will be strong all the way,
but not leave her one true love,
eventhough it hurts inside.

Sorry for any inconvenience caused.
Thank you.

='C

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Sick, Sick, Sick ❤

2009-06-09T21:12:00.000-07:00

God heard my prayers.
I want to be sick,
and HE heard my prayers.
Thank you God.

Dear sayang,
I bet you don't even know I'm sick yeah?
Yeah, you're a busy man now.
Very busy indeed.
No more time for me.
No more me.

Tak perh la.
Though it hurts,
I'm still strong.
I don't know why I'm still here.
Waiting for what's impossible to get.
Wake up Ella.
Or maybe EyLLa.

Maybe I should let myself just be EyLLa.
Being EyLLa, people respect me.
People treasure me.
People love me.
Being ELLA?
Everything she did was with her fullest heart.
But everyone treated it as if they are all bullshit.
It seems that she was not appreciated.

Dear love, why must I suffer?
I've did everything to make things right.

No one knows I'm actually suffering.
From pain and heartaches every single day.
and the flowing of tears every night.
No one knows.
Not even the person whom I love so much.

It seems tat this situation just hurts too much.
Nevermind.
You don't know.
You won't probably read this entry.
It's okay la syg.
I'm fine.
=)

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Over-reacted ❤

2009-06-09T07:53:00.000-07:00

I guess I took all these the wrong way.
I over-reacted, I guess.
I guess I'm gonna have my period.
Been very moody nowadays.
Sayang, forgive me if I've done wrong,
and hurt you by words.
I really didn't mean tht.
I was just too stressed.
I love you.

I'm off to school now.
Chow!

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Let The Tears Flow ❤

2009-06-08T16:51:00.000-07:00

Haishh. Sayang, let the tears flow.
You don't know how much it hurts so much.
I've tried so hard.
But your family treated it like nothing.
You treated it like nothing.
I feel like shit when you told me those things.
I give up.
You never fight fo rme,
you let them have the bad impression about me.
Haishh.
i give up.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Sad, sad me ='C ❤

2009-06-07T19:50:00.000-07:00

Today, my family and I went to Aunty Diana and Uncle Ipin's wedding anniversary.
I ate alot.
Ayam masak merah.
FAVOURITE !
I ate just the chickens.
about 10 ? Ahha.

After that, I went to see ayah at TTSH.
Mom and gang didn't follow.
Sayang waited for me at Novena MRT station.
So there, ayah had this clip thingy on h is finger.
It's for heartbeat I guess.So I was so afraid to salam, so I didn't.
And I stood there without talking at all for about an hour ++
And then ayg's relative came.
And I had to go home, cos it was oredi 6++ and I have to reach home by 7.
So then I asked him to send me home.
He didnt say anything, so I assume he was sending me.
Then, on the way to the MRT station, we terserempak with Najj.
She was visiting ayah too.
So then, at the MRT station, he said ok lahh.
So i was like, I thought you're sending me?
And he was like, since when did I said that?
Then he told me 2 things that really made me tersinggung.

1 : Nenek asked him whether I am controling.
He said No.
But nenek said don't lie,
by the tine of my voice, she knew I was controlling.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?!
I am supposed to be!
because I was afraid ayg would cheat on me AGAIN !
So I had to get control of this.
Hearign ayg said tht, my eyes was already filled with tears.
And I tried so hard not to cry.

2 : He said Ibu tegur about my shirt.
She said my sleeves tend to menurun and can see my bra straps.
I mean, is that my fault?
I don't even know!

After that, to prevent myself from realy crying,
I just walked away into the MRT station,
and ayg was calling me out.
and I wanted so much to turn and give him a hug and kiss,
but I didn't wanna cry.
So I just walked without looking back.
At the escalator, a tear dropped.
And I had to wipe it away.
People were looking at me.
but what to do?
I am sad.

My journey home was awful.
I hear very emotional songs in mp3.
britney's old songs especially.
Haish.

Whatever it is,
i will make a point to prove to everyone,
I am not who they think I am.
Say what you may say,
though it hurts,
I will still stand strong.

Ayah, even though you might not like me,
like you did before,
Imma still stand by your side,
praying you get well soon.

And Ibu, I may not be the best.
But I'll prove to you I'll be a god wife for your son.

To sayang,
I will keep loving you.
I'm sorry for everything.
Give me time okay?
I love you.

My current mood right now : Very, Very Sad and Disappointed. ='C

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Happy 20th Monhsary ! ❤

2009-06-05T19:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Love,
Thank you for today.
Happy 2oth Anniversary . 1 Year 8 Months Anniversary.
I Love You Sayang. Muahmuah.

Today, Ayang & Me went to Northpoint.
I ate BK for breakfast.
He didn't ate expect for some pieces of my hashbrowns.
After breakfast,
We went to catch a movie.
Night At The Museum 2.
Ok lahh the story.
But the plot's a lil complicated.
But ok lahh.
Did some stuffs in the cinema.
SHH !

Then we went to CWP.
He wanted to buy me a rose, but there was not enough money.
So yah, never mind.
But he tried, so I was facing back.
And he came out of the store and he said he couldn't get the rose.
But I felt different.
I knew he had the rose.
So I said, If there's any rose behind me ...
And I couldn't continue my sentnce.
Then I laughed.
And he presented a rose.
AWW !
So we walked and everyone was staring at my rose.
But whatever, JAKUN katekan.
So yeah, went home.
Rose resting in the fridge.
And here I am, updating.
Dah, till here then.

HAPPY 20th monthsary / 1 yr 8 mths anniversary SAYANG !
I LOVE YOU!
Thanks again for today sayang.
Muahmuah.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ OOPS ! ❤

2009-06-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

Oh dear! What have I done?!
It's our 20th monthsary tomorrow, and I'm giving shit!
I shouldn't have screamed at ayang.
I guess I'm just tired.
What do you expect?
8 am to 5 pm of schooling, just to finish Art ?!
UNREASONABLE!
People are playing around man.
I could even go out and take a smoke or two.
WTH !

Ayang, I'm sorry for screming at you.
I love you okayy?
I'm looking forward to tomorrow okay ayang?

And HAPPY 20th MONTHSARY / 1 year 8 mths in advance baby.
I LOVE YOU!
Muahmuah.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Enjoy ! ❤

2009-06-03T19:43:00.000-07:00

Yeah, things have changed since our recent argument.
Funny boyfie!
I guess I over-reacted. i was stressed,
and he adds on.
how am I not supposed to be fucked?
So yeah, things got out of hand, ayang bit me.
Couple of blueblacks on my right arm.
Ayang said sorry, and we're done.
Some asked me, why let it be?
It's just parts and parcels of life.
Ups and downs.
So since I wanna get married to him, I guess I just have to bear him.
But we're getting better.
Our relatioship's getting stronger now.
And I'm changing.
HURRAY !

Today, ayang came and helped up with this computer.
Turned out there's this stupid programme thingy.
IDK!
But we are so like MARRIED,
wifey and husband.
Then after that, we went to Marsling with mama.
And came back home again.
Ayang felt hurt when I didn't entertain him when the internet was okay again.
SORRY ayang!
dont take it the wrong way ayang.
Guess I was too engrossed.
I'm really sorry ayang.
And thank you so much okeh?
I love you!

Anyways, This coming friday, 5th June, is our 20th monthsary?
Which is 1 year 8months ?
So, ayang wants to bring me to the ZOO.
ZOO? Of all places, ZOO ? Haha. LOLs.
But atleast, it's a date right?
So I appreciate that ayang.
I'm looking forward to Friday!

Owh, not to forget, Ma Birthday!
It's coming up, 27th June.
I'll be celebrating ma birthday at ECP!
But it's not confirmed.
But I really hope it is.
SWEET 16 !
Sayang's giving me a ring.
He accidentally blurted it out.
YAY !
I know what's ayang giving me.
But yeah, the 'propose' is still a surprise right?
IDK how you would want to 'propose' me kan?
so no worries ayang!
Dearest God, please make my dream party come true!

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Heartbreaking Fairytale Of CinderELLA ❤

2009-05-19T00:56:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been down these few days. Heartbreaking man. Imagine your own boyfie calling you cheap. But what to do, It happened. I'm over it anyways.

To Alep, please don't lie to your heart. Jangan terlalu pakse diri okeh? Illa sentiase kat sini untok alep. Happy2 okehh. =)

Alot of this I've experience these few weeks. Good and bad. Yeahh.

To my cyg, hah! mind your words okeh ! you've touched me. FULLSTOP.

To my sayangs Ice and Mal. Thanks for always being there by my side. I love you.

To people, what I've learnt is that in life we must be strong. So yeah. It may be hard. But just be strong.

And to me, I've got alot of decision making to do. =)

That's all.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Updatess ❤

2009-04-24T16:40:00.000-07:00

Lately, things had been going out of hand between me n zack. Yahh, turns out to be my moodswing. That's right. PERIOD ! Well, can't blame me. his attitude still sucks.=(
But yeah, what to do kann ? daa sayang.

My bbygirls slalu kt sisi i. Happy happy ! Mal & Ice . Sayang, sayang. ILY !

Sayang, PLEASE, please. berubah lah seh. Kate jek nk kahwin. BOOHOO! Please, im looking forward to your chnge. Change for us. For the future. for OUR future.
LOVE, love. Muah.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Thank you, Zack ❤

2009-04-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

Thank you Zack for making me who I am today.
Thank you Zack for loving me.
Thank you Zack for caring for me.
Thank you Zack for being there for me.

Thank you Zack for being unreasonable.
Thank you Zack for not being understanding.
Thank you Zack for your ego.
Thank you Zack for giving me false hopes.
Thank you Zack for making me love you.
Thank you Zack for the memories.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ It's broken, dude. ❤

2009-04-14T14:36:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I'm giving ZaCkyLLa a break. I really can't stand the whole shitness going around in life. The attitude, the forgiveness, the pain. Yeah, it's all over for now. Eventhough how much you meant to me or how much we've been through, I'm putting a stop to all of this. May be temporary. But its stil a break-up. I'm doing this for you. For you to realize how much I loved you. Because all these while, you didnt. I want you to change. So yeah, no contacts during these days. I'm just trying to make this right. yeah, it may be killing you. but it kills me more. but i know we'll be back together again. that is if you still love me or you still want me. So yeah, ZaCkyLLa's broken, you know it. Change, that's all im asking for. that's the only way, we can make it through. the only way we cn last. the only way both of us cn be happy. I'll change too. Trust me. I'm not asking much. Just change. So yeah, come back by 5th May and prove to me that you're a better person. Prove to me that you love me n appreciate me. Prove to me taht you deserve a girl like me. Fight for me. Cos you know there are guys out there reaching out for me. But i'll ensure you, my heart is for you. It's already with you. But you just have to keep it safe and warm and come back on the 5th May, which is supposed to be ZaCkyLLa's 19th monthsary. So yeah, Goodluck sayang. *winks*

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Breathe, babygirl. ❤

2009-04-13T23:21:00.000-07:00

Breathe babygirl, breathe.
Like Zaidee said, ade hikmahnye. Don't get too emotional or jump to conclusions that quick baby. Now just breathe, calm down and relax. Everything will go fine. Trust me babygirl. Zack may be unreasonable or not a gentleman, yes. but there's always something afterwards. Just breathe. Everything will be alright. Eventhough how much your heart hurts, to how many pieces it shattered, just breathe. Everything will be alright. =) Just be strong baby. Just breathe.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Stupid dreams. ❤

2009-04-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I gotta see life as reality. It was never a fairytale. Just my dreams.
My stupid dreams. Thank you so much dude. You were always there to end my dreams.
A round of applause for you dude, seriously. Not even an apology. WHATEVER.
Why even bother being there for me? Why bother caring? Why be here just to let me down? Like the song goes,

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel comes out
Just when you need it to
As I pace back and forth all this time
'Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on,
The days drag on
Stupid girl
I should have known,
I should have known

That I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

Baby I was naíve,
Got lost in your eyes
I never really had a chance.
My mistake I didn't know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand.
I had so many dreams about you and me.
Happy endings
Now I know

I'm not a princess
This ain't a fairytale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood,
This is a small town
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now its too late for you and your White Horse,
To come around.

And there you are on your knees
Begging for forgiveness,
Begging for me
Just like I always wanted,
But I'm so sorry

Cause I'm not your princess
This ain't our fairytale
I'm gonna find someone, someday
Who might actually treat me well.
This is a big world,
That was a small town
There in my rear view mirror,
Disappearing now.
And it's too late for you and your White Horse
Now its too late for you and your White Horse
To catch me now.

I ain't leaving. But you gotta realize sometimes. I am not a toy. I have feelings.
A girl who just wanted love, warmth and sincere-ness.
A girl who wants to make her dreams come true.
A girl that you left broken at the corner of the room.
A girl who just cried.
A girl who hates getting hung up on.
A girl who waits no more for apologies.
A girl who is being strong.
I'm just a girl who just need ... YOU.
But a little twist in life, this girl can leave her shattered dreams behind.
And move on. Just remember that dude. Just remember that.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ B******T ! ❤

2009-04-13T20:04:00.000-07:00

Yeah, B******T ! pure b******t.
Thank you for spendng the day with me,
and thank you for spoling my god damn mood syg !
seriously, look at yourself. I didn't evn scold you or anythng.
nk mrh2 kenape? i was saying the fact dude. C'mon !
If I could put my friends aside, why couldn't you ?
this s pure B******T ! I had enough dude, seriously.
Is this what I deserve?! Did I even raise my damn voice? Stupid S**T !
Thanks for beng an A*****E !

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ I Miss You. ❤

2009-04-11T21:35:00.000-07:00

Dearest sayang, I MISS YOU! Don't you miss me ? We haven't met for like ... IDK ?
2 days ? But it felt like a week or so . OMG ! Looking forward to meeting you this Monday .
Today I went to ETP with family. YAY ! I love family ! Muahmuah .
I Love Everyone ! MuahMuah . YAY !
Today is a very happy day ! =)

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Sayang, sayang. ❤

2009-04-05T22:18:00.000-07:00

Today went out with syg and his family to visit ayah ( syg's dad ). Ayah msk hospital because he got lung infection. Get well soon Ayah. Then I have to reach home by 4pm. So we went out from novena at ard 2++. then go sontot. hardcore beb ! then go meet mama at Marsiling. Otw there, syg was caught red-handed of his hp tht a girl msg him. bbl i&u lak tu. GERAM! sedih. yeahh, most of all, sedih. for the past few months I've been ver faithful to you. Is this what I deserve? What wrong have I done to you all these while? Ape salah I? yeah, i gt alot of guyfriends. but tk satu pn i bbl i&u ngn drg. u used to be like who i am right now. where are you now? what is my wrong? it's no use for tears and cries right now. it was never a use. Useless. I'm being very strong. very,very strong. I'm sorry if I gt too emotional. ='(

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Dear Love. ❤

2009-04-04T21:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Love, I apologised for what I have done that shattered your heart into a million pieces. but I kept it to myself because I didn't want to hurt you sayang. I'm sorry, but I swear to you that these few months I have been very faithful and truthful to you sayang. Cin tk pernah tipu sayang this year. Sayang please, let the past be the past. I know I was wrong. But this year I swear to you, I betol2 setia kat you. I tk der laki pn blakang you sayang. Please. All for them were last year and I thought you knew? But whatever it is sayang, I Love You. Please forgive me.

Maybe you did forgave me. But I don't understand. When we met just now, I asked you to give me one big slap, I don't get it why you kissed me. I deserve a slap for keeping all these from you sayang. I dont get it. but I love you sayanng. Muahmuah. Please, please forgive my sins. ='(

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Yay yay. ❤

2009-03-31T21:51:00.000-07:00

I guess life just has to move on. I get it now. I'm re-building up myself. Being strong. Still, I love you Nenek! =)

Went to SCC after school today with sayang. Shopping at Cotton On. My baby bought me a pink long sleeve fitting shirt and white flip-flops, jiwe with him. Yay Yay ! Hurray for sayang. So yeahh, saving my money to go shopping again with sayang. Gonna buy everything jiwe with sayang. gonna save up to buy iPhone jiwe with sayang. Woohoo ! I love my sayang for helping me throughout this hard time. I love you sayang !

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Life's crashing down on me. ❤

2009-03-30T11:48:00.000-07:00

Dear people, please understand that ELLA is very stress right now. Life is crashing down on me. My nenek passed away, followed by Nyai. And people ard are always giving me problems. I'm sorry. It's just too hard for me right now. To people who wants to create trouble for me, fcuk off aight ?! i dont want to bother. its ur fcukin life aight ?! i dont bother no more. MALAS ! and sayang, you've been harsh these few days. but i forgave you. haishh. its okay syg. if you dont understand, its okayy. i'm still strong though. and nenek, i love you very much. i know sometimes people have to go. you wont get to see me naik pelamin. but its okayy. i know tht you'll be there spiritually. i always feel your presence these few days. but i aain't scared. i'm just sad tht you have to go. but i guess i have to go on with life. ily nenek !

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ It's Just Life. ❤

2009-03-26T18:22:00.000-07:00

It's been 2 days since I haven't been to school. It's been really major breakdown for me. Life's getting harder for me. Everything's breaking down into pieces.
My friends, my family and most of all, my sayang. Everyone's changing.
But I guess it's just the cons of life. And some say, disebalik ada hikmahnye. So I'm just waiting and try my very best to be patient. Sayang, whatever it is, please don't let the love fate. I'm thru with everything.
Sayang's in M'sia for 1 week. Yesterday, this morning sayang called me. He said he missed me so much. Yeahh, I missed him along time ago. We could still meet up after a week later right? It's not as if I'm gg to die right? Haha. Maybe? Joking lah !
Hope to seeing sayang soon. =)

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ What wrong have I done to you? ❤

2009-03-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

He will never know how hurt am I right now. All I want to do now is just scream.
Just scream my heart out in his face. All guys are the same.
Smue dayus, smue tk phm pompan, smue ego ! Tk pnah nk phmkn ape perasaan pompan.
All they care is just their feelings. They nvr cared. NEVER CARED !
All tht I've done, is this what I deserve? I dont understand,
what do you want from me? what wrong have i done to you?
you know tht I don't want to hate you. But you're making me so.
because you are just not the person whom i used to love.
I just dont undesrtand. Isit so hard to appreciate me? you know yourself, im sick.
Isit wrong to spend the last moments being happy? ISIT WRONG !?
Can i like scream at your face? Isit so hard to show love?
love is not equals to sontot. Its about responsibility. Its about commitment.
Its about care. I just need your understanding. Your hug. Your kiss. Your love.
And mostly, your warmth and care. Isit hard to show? Do i deserve all this shit ?

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Is this my god damn fate? ❤

2009-03-23T01:14:00.000-07:00

Please, God give me strength.
Please, I'm begging not to let the same thing happen to me again.
My sayang is not my sayang anymore. Not the same person tht I love anymore.
I miss my old syg. I love my old sayang.
I HATE this person tht I'm giving my love to right now.
This person tht brings back my past into life. My awful, unforgiven past.
True, he doen't hit / beat me up. But the harsh words, the genggaman, everything.
It's tearing me apart ! I ask, who are you? he asks me bacl, who am i ?
and says I'm the one who changed. Excuse me? Ask everyone around you syg.
Sape yg berubah? I'm still myself. You were never yourself all these while.
Where is your love? You yourself know my past. And wht type of person exactly am I.
You know i tend to get emotional. Very emotonal.
Tell me, where is yourself tht used to understand and endure?
The same old Ella is always here. I have never changed. You're the one !
Now it's time for you to ask yourself, WHO ARE YOU?
I love you syg. But not this you, the old you. ='C

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Is it wrong for me to be happy? ❤

2009-03-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

I don't understand why is it wrong for me to be happy?
I don't understand why mother wouldn't understand.
It's been days since I met syg. All I'm asking is just for a day out with syg.
to relax and enjoy. to relieve every bit of my stress. Is it wrong?
I asked immediately after my bro asked her if he could go out. Wah !
If my abg, straight answer 'YES' . I asked politely. Very, very politely.
" Mom, can I go out too?" Dgn mrh, she said " Jgn merepek! "
So then, I said it's my holidays.
then she said, go ask your dad uh. hols bleh klua tk.
I'm like, dngar2 hols dudok uma, rot mcm babi, pagi petang siang malam TIDO jekk keje. nk keje tk kasi. whtt else cn i do? Haish.
I'm trying so hard to cherish every single moments with syg.
Since we won't have the chance to get married.
Is it wrong to be happy? Haishh.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Trust me, We will get married. ❤

2009-03-19T21:23:00.000-07:00

Firstly, my hair sucks. Make-up sucks. EVERYTHING sucks!

Just came back from visiting nenek. Well, nenek was so pitiful. Kesian seh. Haishh.
Well, I guess it's time to taubat.
Don't evn know if I get my chance to experience the best day of my life.
Came across this documentary about world's gonna end in 2012.
Like OMG ! Yeahh, planet stuff stuff. Oh dear, what's wrong with this world !
This cruel , unfair world !

Sayang, evn if we couldn't be together after the world end, trust me.
if we could get married in heaven/hell, I would.
I always loved you. If I can't live up to this particular year,
we'll meet sooner or later. Let us cherish every moments we had together.
I love you syg. Muahmuah.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Please be strong, Nenek ! ❤

2009-03-19T11:50:00.000-07:00

It's just the starting of the day. Yet, I'm already pissed off.

WHAT THE F**K !

Firstly, syg went to school. And again, he forgets to call me. AGAIN !
I was wide awake seh, waiting for his call. But he never called.

Secondly, I'm gg to hospital. Nenek kene warded. She collapsed. And couldnt respond. And had short breaths. And her heartbeat was slow. But her eyes were open. OMG !
God, please help my nenek. And my uncles and aunties, sialuh !
tk boleh harap siakk . smue carik my mother. Anak smue ramai tkde tanggung jawab.
Yeahh, my mom's the eldest. But wth seyhh ! Anak laki smue mane ilang?
and if we dont go visit nenek, wahh ! mulot smue sial !
nk ckp bnyk, ckp nenek daa nk mati tkde org tgk .
WTF ! in the first place, where the fcuk are they when nenek baru2 saket?
where the hell are they when nenek need them? semue kutip duit dari nenek, beh tk tau kasi alek. now nenek is dying. my beloved nenek is dying.
skg smue aru nk tgk kn nenek ? for whtt ? nk harta ? sial uh ! cb siakk prangai !
if I could, I would take nenek home and take good care of her. but we cant.
atok is living with us. and nnt cnferm side baba smue bukak mulot.
now, nenek is not the same person who I used to love most. When i was small, nenek loved me so much. she took care of me and stuff. and i loved nenek so dearly.
it hurts seeing my uncles and aunties treat nenek like nothing.
nenek gt stroke after a fall. how could she fall ? wth were they doing ?
how did they look after her? smpai boleh jatoh mcm tu ? nenek is not nyanyok okay.
nenek stress. I really pity nenek. and everytime i see her, I wanted to cry.
how could they do this to her? my beloved nenek. She's dying. All of us know she's dying. She wouldnt even have the chance to see me naik pelamin. omg, nenek dont die.
God, help her. Give her strength. Let her live a little longer. Let her be herself again. Be nenek whom I used to know. Whom I used to love.
And let her have the happiest moments before she go. Please, let her live a little longer.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Thosand apologies to everyone. ❤

2009-03-18T17:38:00.000-07:00

Firstly, I want to apologize to my beloved sayang.

❤ ZACK ❤

I may not be the best girl you ever had.
I've done many sins.
People make mistakes, I guess.
I regret everything I've done.
But I'm still trying my hardest to achieve your love.
All I want is just your heart.
Sorry if you can't feel my love.
Or how much I cared for you.
I always cared for you.
And most of all, I always love you.
Your words and actions may seem harsh.
But I'll still be here.
To guide you along your way.
I'll be the girl that you will always remember.
I'll be the girl that you will spend your last moments with.
To wipe away your tears.
To always be there for you.
Trust me sayang.
I'll be a better person for you.
Owhh, And I'm sorry for raising my voice at you just now.
So sorry.
I love you.
Muahmuah.

And I want to apologize to my friends.

❤ ICE ❤

❤ MAL ❤

❤ REDH ❤

I know it seems hard for us nowadays.
Ice & Redh, babe.
You guys have to understand each other.
Seriously.
Understanding is whats missing in you guys.
You guys never understand each other.
C'mon !
You guys have been friends since secondary one.
Let's not all that go to waste aight.
Take the time off.
Sit down and talk.
Please !
Even I myself get fucked up hearing all these shit.

And Mal, babe.
Sorry if you're hurt by my words.
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings babe.
Just that sometimes, you joke at the wrong time.
Whatever it is, I'm sorry babe.

And to all 3 of you guys, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for the change I made.
You guys know that me and Zack have high hopes.
Redh, I think you understand.
But Ice & Mal, you guys have to understand.
I have to change.
No worries.
The ELLA that you guys used to know is still deep within.
She may show up occasionally.
Please understand.

I guess I'll stop here.
Hope my apologies are accepted.

❤ ZACK ❤

❤ ICE ❤

❤ MAL ❤

❤ REDH ❤

You guys are the greatest people I've known.
I'll pray hard and Insya'allah,
Everything will be fine. =)

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Meet my one & only Sayang ❤

2009-03-18T01:43:00.000-07:00

Heyy people.
I have some information to share.

It's about ... SAYANG !

Alright. Just wanna share some stuffs about sayang.

I mean, why not right?

He's a part of me too!

Let's start with the basics.

His name is ,

❤ ZACK ❤

Well, that's what usually people call him lah.

But I call him ,

❤ SAYANG ❤

Me and sayang have been together for about a year ++ going 2 years.

Yeahh, my longest relatonship ever. His too !

Our combined name ?

❤ ZaCkyLLa ❤

We have high hopes. Really, really high hopes.

We're planning to get married in 2013, maybe?

And we've planned our childrens' names already.

If it were to be a boy, it's Zackaria Ell'yasa.

If it were to be a girl, it's Ellyanie Zaiyana.

Yeahh, maybe TOO high hopes. But love makes the world go round.

So why not go for it ? If there's trust, there's everything. Agree?

Alright, till here then.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

2009-03-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, being new here, I'll start by introducing myself. The name's ,

❤ ELLA ❤

I love Singing. The colours Pink & Black.
Happily & faithfully attatched to :

❤ ZACK ❤ ( sayang )

Somethings I just don't understand about myself.
You know, just this other side of yourself that wants to break free.
But no one understands. You know? Yeah, that should be it.
I'll try to update more if I have the time.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤