❤ Important? ❤

Now, it really shows that I am not important to you.
Thank you for all your false hopes and sweet talks.
You didn't bother calling me back when I hung up.
And my little sister's birthday?
I made the effort to clean, bake, and cook.
Because I thought you were coming.
Otherwise, why would I bother wasting my time?
Can't you at least take a day off?
There's always Zaidi what?
And you telling me you want to lepak with your friends?
Wah, how about me?
Learn to manage your time!
Am I not important to you?

I waited for you at MSL Hill.
Yes, I'm with my friends.
But I waited.
And when I called you,
You hung up on me.

DID YOU KNOW HOW I FELT ?!
Did you?

Thanks for being the worst boyfriend ever.
A jerk who doesn't cares.

Don't bother crying for someone who doesn't care for you anymore, Eyla.
Just go kill yourself.
And rot in hell girl.
No one bothers about you anymore.
Just die bitch.

I have not eaten nor drink for hours.

Let me die.

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Time For A Change ❤

Yes, thank you.
I've learnt so much.
I'm torn.
But I'm strong.

It's time for a change.
I'll be equal.
I'll be who you guys want me to be.
Even if I have to act.

My goal now?
Enjoy life, Smile !

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ And He Goes Again ! ❤

Dear people,
Eyla's really sick right now.
A serious case of heartache.
Therefore,
She will change for the best.
She will change to be strong.
She will change to be who she is best.

She love her guy.
But her guy called her a prostitude.
Therefore, it resulted her to a very serious heartache.
And she's depressed right now.
And so hurt that made her so hard to believe in Zackylla.
And she really could not forgive Zack.
As much as she wanted to, she couldn't.
Because it hurts TOO MUCH.
But she still loves him.
TOO MUCH that she could not let go of the heartache.
She says she's sorry.
It's just too much.
And she's very sad.
And hurt.
And it takes time to forgive you.
But she still love him.
With her whole heart.
And hopes Zack says sorry.
And change for her.
Because that's what she wants for her birthday.
OHH !
And a ring too okay?
Thank you.
I love you.

She love her friends.
Eijah and Mal are always there for her.
Thank you little babies.
She love you guys.
But in her relationship, She has to make her own opinion.
And she will be strong all the way,
but not leave her one true love,
eventhough it hurts inside.

Sorry for any inconvenience caused.
Thank you.

='C

❤ E ☆ Y ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Sick, Sick, Sick ❤

God heard my prayers.
I want to be sick,
and HE heard my prayers.
Thank you God.

Dear sayang,
I bet you don't even know I'm sick yeah?
Yeah, you're a busy man now.
Very busy indeed.
No more time for me.
No more me.

Tak perh la.
Though it hurts,
I'm still strong.
I don't know why I'm still here.
Waiting for what's impossible to get.
Wake up Ella.
Or maybe EyLLa.

Maybe I should let myself just be EyLLa.
Being EyLLa, people respect me.
People treasure me.
People love me.
Being ELLA?
Everything she did was with her fullest heart.
But everyone treated it as if they are all bullshit.
It seems that she was not appreciated.

Dear love, why must I suffer?
I've did everything to make things right.

No one knows I'm actually suffering.
From pain and heartaches every single day.
and the flowing of tears every night.
No one knows.
Not even the person whom I love so much.

It seems tat this situation just hurts too much.
Nevermind.
You don't know.
You won't probably read this entry.
It's okay la syg.
I'm fine.
=)

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Over-reacted ❤

I guess I took all these the wrong way.
I over-reacted, I guess.
I guess I'm gonna have my period.
Been very moody nowadays.
Sayang, forgive me if I've done wrong,
and hurt you by words.
I really didn't mean tht.
I was just too stressed.
I love you.

I'm off to school now.
Chow!

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Let The Tears Flow ❤

Haishh. Sayang, let the tears flow.
You don't know how much it hurts so much.
I've tried so hard.
But your family treated it like nothing.
You treated it like nothing.
I feel like shit when you told me those things.
I give up.
You never fight fo rme,
you let them have the bad impression about me.
Haishh.
i give up.

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤

❤ Sad, sad me ='C ❤

Today, my family and I went to Aunty Diana and Uncle Ipin's wedding anniversary.
I ate alot.
Ayam masak merah.
FAVOURITE !
I ate just the chickens.
about 10 ? Ahha.

After that, I went to see ayah at TTSH.
Mom and gang didn't follow.
Sayang waited for me at Novena MRT station.
So there, ayah had this clip thingy on h is finger.
It's for heartbeat I guess.So I was so afraid to salam, so I didn't.
And I stood there without talking at all for about an hour ++
And then ayg's relative came.
And I had to go home, cos it was oredi 6++ and I have to reach home by 7.
So then I asked him to send me home.
He didnt say anything, so I assume he was sending me.
Then, on the way to the MRT station, we terserempak with Najj.
She was visiting ayah too.
So then, at the MRT station, he said ok lahh.
So i was like, I thought you're sending me?
And he was like, since when did I said that?
Then he told me 2 things that really made me tersinggung.

1 : Nenek asked him whether I am controling.
He said No.
But nenek said don't lie,
by the tine of my voice, she knew I was controlling.
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?!
I am supposed to be!
because I was afraid ayg would cheat on me AGAIN !
So I had to get control of this.
Hearign ayg said tht, my eyes was already filled with tears.
And I tried so hard not to cry.

2 : He said Ibu tegur about my shirt.
She said my sleeves tend to menurun and can see my bra straps.
I mean, is that my fault?
I don't even know!

After that, to prevent myself from realy crying,
I just walked away into the MRT station,
and ayg was calling me out.
and I wanted so much to turn and give him a hug and kiss,
but I didn't wanna cry.
So I just walked without looking back.
At the escalator, a tear dropped.
And I had to wipe it away.
People were looking at me.
but what to do?
I am sad.

My journey home was awful.
I hear very emotional songs in mp3.
britney's old songs especially.
Haish.

Whatever it is,
i will make a point to prove to everyone,
I am not who they think I am.
Say what you may say,
though it hurts,
I will still stand strong.

Ayah, even though you might not like me,
like you did before,
Imma still stand by your side,
praying you get well soon.

And Ibu, I may not be the best.
But I'll prove to you I'll be a god wife for your son.

To sayang,
I will keep loving you.
I'm sorry for everything.
Give me time okay?
I love you.

My current mood right now : Very, Very Sad and Disappointed. ='C

❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤