Dear Love, I apologised for what I have done that shattered your heart into a million pieces. but I kept it to myself because I didn't want to hurt you sayang. I'm sorry, but I swear to you that these few months I have been very faithful and truthful to you sayang. Cin tk pernah tipu sayang this year. Sayang please, let the past be the past. I know I was wrong. But this year I swear to you, I betol2 setia kat you. I tk der laki pn blakang you sayang. Please. All for them were last year and I thought you knew? But whatever it is sayang, I Love You. Please forgive me.
Maybe you did forgave me. But I don't understand. When we met just now, I asked you to give me one big slap, I don't get it why you kissed me. I deserve a slap for keeping all these from you sayang. I dont get it. but I love you sayanng. Muahmuah. Please, please forgive my sins. ='(
❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤
Saturday, April 4, 2009
❤ Dear Love. ❤
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
❤ Yay yay. ❤
Monday, March 30, 2009
❤ Life's crashing down on me. ❤
Dear people, please understand that ELLA is very stress right now. Life is crashing down on me. My nenek passed away, followed by Nyai. And people ard are always giving me problems. I'm sorry. It's just too hard for me right now. To people who wants to create trouble for me, fcuk off aight ?! i dont want to bother. its ur fcukin life aight ?! i dont bother no more. MALAS ! and sayang, you've been harsh these few days. but i forgave you. haishh. its okay syg. if you dont understand, its okayy. i'm still strong though. and nenek, i love you very much. i know sometimes people have to go. you wont get to see me naik pelamin. but its okayy. i know tht you'll be there spiritually. i always feel your presence these few days. but i aain't scared. i'm just sad tht you have to go. but i guess i have to go on with life. ily nenek !
❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤
Thursday, March 26, 2009
❤ It's Just Life. ❤
It's been 2 days since I haven't been to school. It's been really major breakdown for me. Life's getting harder for me. Everything's breaking down into pieces.
My friends, my family and most of all, my sayang. Everyone's changing.
But I guess it's just the cons of life. And some say, disebalik ada hikmahnye. So I'm just waiting and try my very best to be patient. Sayang, whatever it is, please don't let the love fate. I'm thru with everything.
Sayang's in M'sia for 1 week. Yesterday, this morning sayang called me. He said he missed me so much. Yeahh, I missed him along time ago. We could still meet up after a week later right? It's not as if I'm gg to die right? Haha. Maybe? Joking lah !
Hope to seeing sayang soon. =)
❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
❤ What wrong have I done to you? ❤
He will never know how hurt am I right now. All I want to do now is just scream.
Just scream my heart out in his face. All guys are the same.
Smue dayus, smue tk phm pompan, smue ego ! Tk pnah nk phmkn ape perasaan pompan.
All they care is just their feelings. They nvr cared. NEVER CARED !
All tht I've done, is this what I deserve? I dont understand,
what do you want from me? what wrong have i done to you?
you know tht I don't want to hate you. But you're making me so.
because you are just not the person whom i used to love.
I just dont undesrtand. Isit so hard to appreciate me? you know yourself, im sick.
Isit wrong to spend the last moments being happy? ISIT WRONG !?
Can i like scream at your face? Isit so hard to show love?
love is not equals to sontot. Its about responsibility. Its about commitment.
Its about care. I just need your understanding. Your hug. Your kiss. Your love.
And mostly, your warmth and care. Isit hard to show? Do i deserve all this shit ?
❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤
Monday, March 23, 2009
❤ Is this my god damn fate? ❤
Please, God give me strength.
Please, I'm begging not to let the same thing happen to me again.
My sayang is not my sayang anymore. Not the same person tht I love anymore.
I miss my old syg. I love my old sayang.
I HATE this person tht I'm giving my love to right now.
This person tht brings back my past into life. My awful, unforgiven past.
True, he doen't hit / beat me up. But the harsh words, the genggaman, everything.
It's tearing me apart ! I ask, who are you? he asks me bacl, who am i ?
and says I'm the one who changed. Excuse me? Ask everyone around you syg.
Sape yg berubah? I'm still myself. You were never yourself all these while.
Where is your love? You yourself know my past. And wht type of person exactly am I.
You know i tend to get emotional. Very emotonal.
Tell me, where is yourself tht used to understand and endure?
The same old Ella is always here. I have never changed. You're the one !
Now it's time for you to ask yourself, WHO ARE YOU?
I love you syg. But not this you, the old you. ='C
❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤
Friday, March 20, 2009
❤ Is it wrong for me to be happy? ❤
I don't understand why is it wrong for me to be happy?
I don't understand why mother wouldn't understand.
It's been days since I met syg. All I'm asking is just for a day out with syg.
to relax and enjoy. to relieve every bit of my stress. Is it wrong?
I asked immediately after my bro asked her if he could go out. Wah !
If my abg, straight answer 'YES' . I asked politely. Very, very politely.
" Mom, can I go out too?" Dgn mrh, she said " Jgn merepek! "
So then, I said it's my holidays.
then she said, go ask your dad uh. hols bleh klua tk.
I'm like, dngar2 hols dudok uma, rot mcm babi, pagi petang siang malam TIDO jekk keje. nk keje tk kasi. whtt else cn i do? Haish.
I'm trying so hard to cherish every single moments with syg.
Since we won't have the chance to get married.
Is it wrong to be happy? Haishh.
❤ E ☆ L ❤ L ☆ A ❤
